Comic Relief laughs at the top of UK Chart

This week marked comic relief in the UK. In that spirit both the official and the unofficial songs claim the top spots of the chart.

Sugababes vs Girls Aloud plough into the chart at number one with their Aerosmith remake “Walk this way”. Considering the girl bands, that have had a slew of number one between them, recorded the track as a charity single, one can excuse them for it being such a stinker. The girls’ version has none of the urgency of the original or the brilliant Run DMC remake from the late 80’s. But all’s not lost, in a few weeks this song will be but a distant, albeit an unfortunate, memory.

Speaking of stinkers, Gwen Stefani continues to clog up the top two with her “The Sweet Escape”. This song sounds like cardboard scratching styrofoam– the vocal is forgettable, the screaming, unbearable and unless you read the label, the guest spot completely obsolete – a completely useless piece of pop plastic. On a higher note, it is better than the previous three minutes of nonsense of her previous hit.

Clambering in at number three, The Proclaimers remake their hit from 1988 with assistance from comedians Peter Kay and Matt Lucas to re-chart with ‘I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)’. This marks the second of two comic relief singles in the chart this week. Better yet, the original jumps in at number 37.

The single hasn’t been re-released in the original format and its top 40 debut may be due to an error as thousands of Britons downloaded the wrong song thinking it was the comic relief version. That said however, ‘500 miles has been hovering in the lower ranks of the Top 100 on downloads alone since the new chart rules began earlier this year. It’s this week’s top three redeeming feature, even if the comic sketch stitched into the song rings a little inane.

Calvin Harris jumps seven notches to round off the top ten at ten with ‘Acceptable in the 80’s’.

At 18, Alex Gaudino lands his first hit with ‘Destination Calabria’. The track features vocals by none other than Crystal Waters of ‘Gypsy Woman’ fame. Who knows what disco she’s been dancing at since she last surfaced in the early nineties with 100% Pure Love, but she sounds as good as ever. Maybe Crystal has what it takes to bring real dance music back at the top of the chart.

Now may be time to make your escape, Gwen!